Random thoughts...deep meaning...even deeper conviction!!

I guess I have taken a rather long break from my writing responsibilities. Its 8’o clock, am still on my desk at Taipei, gazing at 101 from a distance. I apologize for my random way of putting thoughts onto paper, but there’s so much going through the mind, that I haven’t been able to absorb everything up till now.


As I change the bullet for the next paragraph, thinking where to take this post, whether I should be telling you about my recent business trip to Seoul, Taipei and HK, or should I traverse down the memory lane and pen down the change life has witnessed in a less than a years.

Random thoughts, too many questions, answer to some, follow-up questions to many. Of note, I have developed this habit of extensive reading, reading whatever I can lay my hands on, it may be friction, philosophy, drama or financial statements. Many of my prior convictions about people, things and places are being challenged.

On my flight from Seoul to Taipei, I met this old lady. Very old in age but very young in thoughts. A simple black coffee and the accompanied talk made me realize some of the truths about the life, the purpose of being born, caring for people and being cared in return. I always tried to quantify the duration of life, whether it was too short or too long. I guess, it’s a trivial quantification. Life being too short, because time just flies, but just too long, that you forget most of it by the time you get old.

Pretty recently, (about a year back though!!), I have a break-up with my girlfriend. How does it fit in here? Well, the entire years we guys were together flew like anything, however when I try to recall my day I broke –up, my last words to her, I just can’t remember. It all feels being happened so long ago. All I can manage to recall is that I have been single for quite some time now, yet somewhat afraid to mingle again, but happy being all for myself. No bed time calls, no morning alarms, no mid day follow-ups, but it all seems so fine. I guess I have become addicted to my work, my life and myself.

I have been missing out on many a things of late. I haven’t been to any social networking site for over a month, I haven’t switched on my fone for last 1 week, but I cant express how happy I am, living it this way.



Many random thoughts, answer to some, questions to many.



Thanks.

Random questions of a ravaged mind!

"Is fighting for someone's happiness so important when the person doesn't care about you?
But do you know for sure the person doesn't care about you?

How much can a mind vacillate in a single day, from one extreme to the other based on the slightest whims of someone else?

Is independency of mind a mere illusion?

Do I really not know the answers to my questions or am I blocking them out?

Are these incorrigible acts of impetousness or just guises and guiles?
If the latter, are they designed for me or against me?

Is this not the height of fairlessness, that one party has to suffer, so that the other party does not have to, though it is for no perceptible fault of the latters?

Which pain is so strange that you have no intent to harm the person who has wrought it upon you?

Didn't Richard Bach say “I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.” and when he did, did he take into account this queer disease?

Isn't a guilt free mind the best gift a person can have but also the most dangerous of all weapons?

Can my mind no longer distinguish between a tainting taunt and a frank greeting?

MY first true concern for myself: Are these scars healable with time or are they permanent?

Why are yesterday's questions so different from today? and more painful?

When all's over can it be anymore peaceful?

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” How true!

Do I have permission to slap myself if I dole out advice unasked to someone who doesn't even care?

Why have I demeaned myself to such an extent, that I cannot look myself square in the mirror?

Is there an instant "Delete" key for relations?

Why is truth so undervalued in this world?

Is it so difficult to distinguish between incorrigibility and innocuousness?

Is ingratitude so in vogue?

Does pursuance cease to become an art when the opposite party has neither fear nor interest?

Is thinking about not giving a damn so much more difficult than actually not giving one?

Does my self respect has no respect for itself anymore?

Would you help someone in distress who does not remember you in joy?

Is pain so peaceful or is this peace painful?"

These and more traverse my mind.

Everything would be crystal clear only if you have ever fallen prey to the strangest malady of all!

If not, keep trying!!

Perception versus Reality

Let me tell their story that no one else can hear.
How can someone's laughter bring me close to tears.
And you'll never know, because you're never there.

After what we've seen, can we close our eyes again?

Let me tell their story you won't think is true.
I have not forgotten so I'm sharing it with you.
For all the things we've known, what have we really learned?

Though I close my eyes the images remain.

Let me tell their story that now, everyone can hear.
And their story begins.
Again.

Source: Poem by Ferdinand Dimadura from "Chicken a la Carte"

P.S. Some incidents change the way you perceive reality. Today I had a date with one of them.

Thanks!

Thanks
        For guiding me into the rigmarole of finance
        For helping me understand numbers better, linguistically and figuratively!
        For being the first alcohol connoisseur I've known ('ave learnt a lot, mate)
        For showing me how to get what is wanted, not matter what the odds
        For those extended breaks and endless rants
        For sharing countless nibbles and tidbits
        For boosting my morale during those lows
        For shaping each day into something worthy
        For teaching me a thing or two about self control
        For helping me uncover cupid, turning me stupid!?
        For trying out my pointless programs and scripts
        For your patience, wit and frankness
        For just being my friend. Period.
Be happy wherever you go buddy.  Or rather to quote Richard Bach in Illusions "No, I take that back. I wish, dear lonely messiah, that you find whatever it is that you want to find"

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.
Rarely do members of one family grow under the same roof."

Daaru ---- Vanii!!

1. Tu to Mera bhai hai...bhai !!! 







2. You know i am not drunk... 







3. Gaadi mein Chalaunga... 







5. Tu bura mat maann bhai... 







6. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu... 







7. Abe bol daal aaj usko, aar yaa paar.... 







8. Aaj saali Chad nahi rahi hai kya baat hai?? 







9. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai... 







10. Ye mat samajh ki peeke bol raha hu... 







11. Abe yaar kahin kam to nahi padegi itnee... 







12. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae...lovely waala !!! 







13. Baap ko mat Sikhao… 







14. Yaar magar tune mera dil tod diya... 







15. Kuchh bhi hai par saala Bhai hai Apna... 





16. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye...Jaan chahiye hazir hai ??? 







17. Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee...shart laga saala aaj tu.. 







18. Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska... 







19. Saale teri bhabhie hai wo…bhabie ki nazar se dekh usko… 







20. Yaar tu samjha kar.. wo tere layak nahi hai… 







21. chal bhai tu kah raha hai to tere liye chodh diya usko.. aaj se wo teri…bana issi baat par ek – ek aur peg !!! 







22. Tujhe kya lagta hai chadh gayi hai... abhi ek full aur khatam kar sakta hun… 









and the best one... 









23. Yaar aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai 







And Finally... 





Salla... aaj se daru band...............!!! 

Source: Not Known.

But Hats off to the person who compiled all the emotions into words!!

Life as I see it

Three friends, whom I have known since quite a bit of time, are now sleeping with the fishes, so as to say.

All deceased in three completely unrelated accidents.

Apart from drenching me in despair and creating anathema in me towards the Public Administration system in charge of the roads, it has set me off on an intense train of thought. 

What is my life, but a speck of dust in this universe?

What do I hope to live and achieve?

What does my life mean to the world?
Plenty like me die every day and still many come into this world.
What is the objective of this birth?

No, I amn't quoting from The Gita...

The purpose of life as I see it can be broadly split into two windows, the two overlapping often.

One is survival and the other is reproduction.

As I started thinking on these lines, I realized that many of our instincts, actions and emotions are tied firmly to the two.

We feel pain when we are injured or sick. This discomfort or pain helps us realize that it may hamper our survival and help us rectify the cause. 

However the average lifetime of a human is 60 years, because the reproductive systems would have been degenerated completely by that time and we would not be able to reproduce.

So, indirectly Nature has no use for us after we are past our sexual prime.

Even love/sexual feelings are maximum during the period where chances of reproduction are highest.

Attraction towards the opposite gender peaks during the age of 18-35, when the hormones manifest themselves and the odds of bearing an offspring are positive.

The joy that it is obtained during fornication induces the person to obtain that satisfaction again and again, increasing the probability of reproduction.

Coincidence? Maybe not!

On a different note, the unconditional and protective love shown by a parent on a child is caused by a desire to propagate their progeny, perhaps more than anything else.

We seek to live in groups, when we think it helps in our survival. And we would fight, when our existence is threatened.

The whole brouhaha behind higher education and earning more money and so on is to land with a good and compatible partner, so that the best possible offspring could be obtained.

The first half of our life focuses on finding the best available partner and the next half deals with making our offspring ready for the same process.

So on, most functions we perform (excluding some inexplicable perversions!) would be to help with survival or reproduction or both.

Some feelings such as hunger, lust, greed have been built into us for specific reasons.

On a broader scale, human life could have been so simpler, with just two primary functions.

But the world is now such a quagmire of emotions, complications and contraptions.

We are messing up our planet in hopes of finding a better place to live, only destroying the present en route.

The feelings are going out of control and hurting others.

But not to worry. Nature has a self-cleaning mechanism every few millennia, obviating any damage done to earth and providing an opportunity to start afresh.

A holistic and subtle understanding of the purpose we are alive, would perhaps help streamline our goals better.

And in the process, we can probably squeeze in a few more seconds, delaying the inevitable apocalypse a teeny-weeny bit.

To quote Pink Floyd

 "All in all it's just another brick in the wall.

All in all you're just another brick in the wall."

Note: The author loves and values his parents & friends very much. The sarcastic and detached views expressed here are the result of extreme emotional distress and are of course, not permanent.

Questions w/o Answers ???

Alcohol may not be the answer to all the questions

…. 

Swami Vivekananda 

But

It helps u to forget the entire question!!

….

Vijay Mallya

The above two quotes vividly depicts my transition from 2009 to 2010. 

Happy New Year Guys!!! Have a rocking year ahead!!!

Adieu ;-)